They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
