Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
