So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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