Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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