my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
