me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
