New low: just hacked my moms facebook
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
