How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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