Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
