hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
