I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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