im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You have to summon your inner elephant
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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