im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
She needs sedatives and a leash
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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