oh god the rape fog is back!
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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