When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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