Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
