So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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