Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
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