so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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