i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
