my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
