Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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