Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
