know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I believe in your delicious
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
