Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He has the fingertips of a God
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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