Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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