my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
