I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize