I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
