When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize
