Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
