I heard we made out
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
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