so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
third nipple confirmed
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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