So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
