Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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