Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
