i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
