Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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