I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
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