I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
