its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Randomize
