she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
