Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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