You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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