Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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