Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
her facebook's as public as her vagina
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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