Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
