called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
