I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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