Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Who did Billy Mays play for?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
