I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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