I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
