i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
