If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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