Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
