no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
