And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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