Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize