i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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