Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
