He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize