Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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